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You are not alone To the parents of autistic children who’ve been bullied by #ActuallyAutistic, I want you to know that you’re not alone. They may be vocal, but they do not…
Browsing Tag
the autism cafe
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High-Functioning Autism / Asperger’s in adults Lots of people have trouble maintaining relationships, and social phobia is also a common fear. I’ve met many people in my life who didn’t like…
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You can feel sad about your child’s diagnosis and still love them with every fiber of your being. If you do, I want you to know that you’re not alone in…
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Thanks Wells Fargo for sponsoring this post, all opinions expressed are my own. The challenge of traveling with children I’ve always loved traveling. In my younger years, I traveled quite a…
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Thank you Sargento for sponsoring this post, all opinions expressed are my own. It’s no secret that I’m not the best cook. I like recipes that are easy to execute, are…
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“What good are wings without the courage to fly?” There are moments in our lives that shape us. Moments that push us to better ourselves — to step out of our…
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Wandering and autism If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I went through a difficult moment this weekend. Charlie ran away when we were downtown. He was doing fine,…
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Autism success stories in the media The media like to portray heart-warming autism success stories, but the reality for many autistics and their loved-ones is often quite different. While it makes…
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Bullying and the dark side of the Neurodiversity Movement This is a post I’ve been meaning to write for a while but didn’t. I couldn’t. Partially because I was scared of…
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This is an excerpt from my book, All Across the Spectrum, that you can pre-order here. Autism and functioning labels As I kept sharing about autism on my blog, the #ActuallyAutistic doubled…
![To the parents of autistic children who’ve been bullied by #ActuallyAutistic, I want you to know that you’re not alone. They may be vocal, but they do not represent the majority of autistic adults. I see you and I get you.
I believe that raising a severely autistic child is challenging. I believe parents should be allowed to feel and express sadness without being harassed and shamed.
I know that these parents love their children with all their hearts despite the sadness they feel about the diagnosis. I believe grieving is healthy. Parents don’t grieve because they hate their children, they’re grieving the future they’d imagined for their child (and yes, also for themselves).
They grieve the things most parents take for granted—the painfully normal things their child will likely never experience or accomplish. New goals have to be set for their child, often much more elementary and limited. They worry about this future and they’re haunted by the uncertainty of it. Will their child ever speak? Get dressed alone? Use the bathroom without help?
There’s not one single autistic voice that speaks for all of autism. The spectrum is too broad, and autistic people are just that—people, with the same range of differences as any other group. It’s impossible for any person or group to “represent autism”. Yes, they are actually autistic, but they do not represent autism, most autistic adults, children with autism, nor nonverbal autistics either.
I want the parents who’ve been bullied by this community to know all this. There are many autistic adults, myself included, who would never make a parent feel bad for feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed with their child’s diagnosis. So yes, listen to autistic adults, but don’t you ever forget that most of us don’t think you’re a martyr because you’re not a martyr. I know that on those hardest days, the degree to which you’re heartbroken about your child’s condition is equal to the deep love and compassion you feel for them. I get it. Many of us do, and we will never judge you. Your feelings don’t make you a martyr, they make you human—a beautiful, loving, vulnerable human. ❤️
[Full post in bio and stories]](http://scontent-frx5-1.cdninstagram.com/vp/6fbcc6a142d21ddf7f05b40745203d01/5E411A94/t51.2885-15/e35/c33.0.1374.1374a/s320x320/71540985_577422026337166_4936785374516141811_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-frx5-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=110 "To the parents of autistic children who’ve been bullied by #ActuallyAutistic, I want you to know that you’re not alone. They may be vocal, but they do not represent the majority of autistic adults. I see you and I get you.
I believe that raising a severely autistic child is challenging. I believe parents should be allowed to feel and express sadness without being harassed and shamed.
I know that these parents love their children with all their hearts despite the sadness they feel about the diagnosis. I believe grieving is healthy. Parents don’t grieve because they hate their children, they’re grieving the future they’d imagined for their child (and yes, also for themselves).
They grieve the things most parents take for granted—the painfully normal things their child will likely never experience or accomplish. New goals have to be set for their child, often much more elementary and limited. They worry about this future and they’re haunted by the uncertainty of it. Will their child ever speak? Get dressed alone? Use the bathroom without help?
There’s not one single autistic voice that speaks for all of autism. The spectrum is too broad, and autistic people are just that—people, with the same range of differences as any other group. It’s impossible for any person or group to “represent autism”. Yes, they are actually autistic, but they do not represent autism, most autistic adults, children with autism, nor nonverbal autistics either.
I want the parents who’ve been bullied by this community to know all this. There are many autistic adults, myself included, who would never make a parent feel bad for feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed with their child’s diagnosis. So yes, listen to autistic adults, but don’t you ever forget that most of us don’t think you’re a martyr because you’re not a martyr. I know that on those hardest days, the degree to which you’re heartbroken about your child’s condition is equal to the deep love and compassion you feel for them. I get it. Many of us do, and we will never judge you. Your feelings don’t make you a martyr, they make you human—a beautiful, loving, vulnerable human. ❤️
[Full post in bio and stories]")
