Is Autism Taboo?
Lately, I’ve been feeling down. And it’s difficult to be completely open in my blog when everyone and their grandma can read what I write. Actually, I wish I had a DeLorean to travel back in time in to change a few things. If I could start my blogging journey all over again, I’d probably do it without associating my name to it. You’d find the same great articles and confessions without the weight of a public identity.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because the more I share and write about autism, the more awkward people act around me. Is autism taboo?
I’ve been thinking recently about all the relationships I’ve had that have faded out or in some way ended over the years. Some due to my mistakes and social faux-pas, some because life happens, and many because of autism… So since spring is here, I want to share spring cleaning tips with my readers. I’ve tried all of these steps and it worked wonderfully for me, so let me share my secrets with you 😉
How to lose friends in 5 easy steps:
Step 1:
Move across the world. Instead of facing your problems and fixing your relationships. Just hop on a plane, move to a different country, and pray that time will fix things for you. I did that alright. From France to Texas. Most people don’t have the ability to stay in touch while living across the planet from each other.
Step 2:
Meet a guy. Most of you have probably tried this already. Meet a guy who you really like and make sure to spend more time with him than with your friends. After a while, they’ll become jealous or the relationships will just fade, fade away. Bonus point if you have friends of the opposite sex. They’ll stop talking to you once they realize that your new relationship is serious. You may find out that unbeknownst to you, some of them consider themselves friendzoned.
Step 3:
Push it even farther and become a parent. Have a baby! They’ll get the message! Then, when the baby is born and your friends ask you to go out to drink beer or play Cards Against Humanity you tell them you can’t because you have to stay with your baby. After a couple of months they’ll stop inviting you. Easy!
Step 4:
Get your child diagnosed with autism. Uh oh. Now it’s becoming awkward. Not only are you a mom but your child’s been diagnosed with the big A. He can’t even talk and you dedicate all your time and energy to your mini-you who acts nothing like the other kids his age. At this point, your friends are probably feeling awkward enough; they’ll most likely just stop contacting you. Phew! Good job, you almost did it. If this still wasn’t enough to shorten your friend list, try the ultimate step.
Step 5:
Get diagnosed with autism yourself. At this point people will be so confused that they’ll just stop talking to you completely. Because how did they not notice you had autism and how can you and your child both have autism when your child is non-verbal and you’ve always been the one talking people’s ears off? And what the fuck is wrong with American people being diagnosed with autism three times as much as French people? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Why am I so sarcastic?
Since I came out as autistic, most people have changed around me. If I didn’t approach the situation with sarcasm, it would be painful. People are acting like I was just diagnosed with some kind of deadly, contagious illness. Stop making autism so awkward for f***’s sake. It’s 20 – 17. I’m still the same person I’ve always been.
I’m starting to hate that I was diagnosed with autism. I don’t fit in anywhere.
I’m too autistic for most neurotypical peeps and not angry enough at neurotypical peeps to fit in with autistics.
So yeah, sometimes I wish I could go back in time. But I’m no Marty McFly. I’m stuck in the present with my hurt feelings and confusion. If you’re reading this and you know me then you probably care enough about me to be here. Feel free to reach out to me. Autism doesn’t have to be awkward. How people react to it is what gets awkward.
8 Comments
blaison
2017-03-23 at 5:58 AM<3
Tom
2017-03-23 at 8:04 PMTu sais Eileen, ce que tu décris au début n’est que la “vie” en général, autiste ou non. Les amis, puis LE bon Ami qui t’éloigne des autres. Les enfants, autistes ou non, qui t’éloignent encore un peu plus, de ceux qui n’en n’ont pas encore….Nous avons tous vécu ça…plus ou moins bien, mais l’avons vécu.
Nous voulons tous un jour revenir en arrière car on a l’impression d’avoir raté quelque chose, d’avoir fait des erreurs… Je reste persuadé que, si un retour était possible, nous referions… d’autres erreurs, pas les mêmes ou les mêmes car il faudrait avoir l’expérience de ta vie passée pour les éviter. Juste impossible.
Tu dois continuer à signer sous ton nom car tu es une belle personne. Autiste ou non… Ceux qui s’éloignent ( ça fait parfois mal ) ne te méritent pas. Tu sais, quelques bons amis, des vrais, suffisent souvent. Tu vas les reconnaître ou tu les connais déjà. Ceux-là sont à des années-lumières de ton autisme.
Autisme, trisomie, cancer… même combat. Tu sais, pendant ma chimio, j’ai reçu de nombreux témoignages de sympathie, d’encouragement…puis maintenant qu’ils “te croient ” guéris, il n’y a plus personne. Enfin si les quelques fidèles qui me suffisent.
Les autres ne voit pas ta souffrance intérieure que le traitement a produite, tes inquiétudes sur les idées de mort potentielle ou la trouille de la récidive.
Je dois vivre avec cela et regarder devant pour avancer. Sinon je tombe… Quand le neurologue m’a dit que ma neuropathie des mains s’était aggravée,la première chose que j’ai faite en sortant de la consultation, a été d’aller acheter une guitare en sachant que je pourrai difficilement en jouer. Mais elle est exposée, là devant moi, dans le salon et c’est mon objectif…. Jouer de la guitare, ” demain “…
Ton autisme est comme mon cancer. Tu dois vivre avec et avancer. Regarder droit devant pour avancer même si cela coûte. Les autres ou leurs regards on s’en fout….
Vis ta vie. Il y aura des petits et des grands bonheurs, d’autres emmerdes mais faut faire avec. C’est vrai, quand ça s’accumule, c’est gonflant mais il faut faire avec.
Gregory Lemarchal est un exemple de lutte et de courage et j’essaie souvent de penser à lui quand je ne vais pas bien.
Tu es Eileen et non Eileen l’autiste du coin comme je suis Tom, et non Tom le cancéreux…
Vis la vie même si elle n’est pas toujours facile… Elle est trop précieuse.
Bon courage.
Je t’embrasse. ?❤❤
Victoria's mom :)
2017-03-23 at 10:51 PMI have followed 3 of your 5 steps.. and It’s hard can’t imagine step 4 and 5.. you are beautiful, you are intelligent, you have a beautiful family, you are healthy.. you need no more.. real friends will stay if not, better for you.. here you have a new friend I love seeing your pictures and reading your blog 🙂
Evan
2017-03-24 at 8:49 AMYou know what? **** people. You’ll attract the other types that will be genuine to you. They say if life takes you away from certain people it’s for the better.
I can’t believe once you “labeled” yourself they became awkward around you. Wth? It’s like you eating a dish that is super yummy without knowing you’re eating an ingredient that you’re not familiarity fond of and once someone informs you, you spit it out cause your brain is wired to unfamiliarise itself with it!!!!
I’m not saying you’re the ingredient though. Just displaying people’s mentality.
I once read about someone with autism whose frustrated that people only see that in him. Autism is not about a condition that makes you your personality, it’s just part of your personality, it doesn’t take over your entirety as a person of their own thoughts, own interests, own way of doing things. It’s just a part that is associated to all that that can either enhance, or gives you different perspectives in certain areas.
That’s it.
Screw people, screw them. Focus on your amazing children. They’re your legacy not those around you.
Good ones will come later with this new journey of yours of which you’ve exposed yourself to the world.
Amber
2017-03-24 at 1:48 PMThis post is everything! I’m skipping steps 4&5, but I’m with you the rest of the journey! Let’s time travel together?
Sarah
2017-03-25 at 7:52 AMI love you just the way you are. And if Autism contributes to this patient, loving, caring, helpful, personality of yours, then darnit, I love Autism. You are one of the most genuine, friendly people I’ve met through IG. Either your words, or your pictures, or both, put a smile on my face every single day. (And not just an emoji smile- but a real one ?) Thank you for that. Thank you for helping me with photography tips. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better mom. Thank you for being you. Autism and all. (This is @wanderlusting.mama, if you hadn’t figured that out already?)
Kristof
2019-02-05 at 10:12 AMHey
What you describe is my life exactly.
Each step you wrote down, i did do exactly as you describe in your article.
I did all these steps after i was diagnosted, after i have had problems on the workfloor and someone braught me to justice wrongfully.
Sincerely
Anonymous
2020-02-23 at 6:05 PMPeople in Asia think Autism is Taboo the Bible does not say Autism is Taboo see(Matthew 18:3)