Listen up.
Autism isn’t a gift for everyone. Autism isn’t always a superpower.
Celebrating differences is great, but it’s important to remember that many on the spectrum do not see their autism as a gift. Many autistics will never live independently nor learn to communicate, verbally or not.
When I see moms being shamed on social media for putting their kids in therapy, it makes me sad. We’re accused of trying to make our children “normal”, but it’s such a reductive way to see therapy. We don’t want our children to be normal. We want them to be safe and we want them to learn to communicate to decrease their frustration — and yes, ours too.
Should we let autistics be autistic if they’re happy?
The message that we should let autistics be autistic if they’re happy is damaging to the most severely affected. Charlie is extremely happy running in front of cars. He also loves eating inedible items and self-harming. Should I let him do it because he’s happy?
I don’t have many insights into Charlie’s feelings, but I can tell you one thing for certain: Charlie doesn’t like not being able to communicate beyond very basic needs. His distress when he can’t make himself understood speaks for itself. Should I just let him suffer from his lack of communication in the name of neurodiversity? Because this issue does not improve on its own.
No. I won’t stop.
Autism: a middle ground
I’m all for celebrating the small successes and the things that make us different. Autistic people aren’t “less-than” but we can’t just call autism a gift. This should be something for the autistic person to decide for themselves. My autism isn’t a gift and Charlie’s isn’t either.
My wish for 2020 is that people will be kinder to each other online. A girl can dream, I know 😉
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6 Comments
tasleyna
2021-10-14 at 3:39 AMfucking shit smearing autistic dribblers
being a retard isn’t a super power
Eileen
2021-10-18 at 2:52 PMLovely.
Sarah
2022-04-08 at 3:03 AMWhat a pointless use of your life. It’s truly not even worth a response but the author shouldn’t have to be the only one to respond to you. I am sorry, you clearly have some issues and I hope you are able to work through them one day.
Amy
2022-12-07 at 12:53 AMWhat on earth would make you write such an awful comment? And by the way, it’s the 21st century – the “r” word isn’t used anymore, thankfully. Shame on you.
Angela Crespin
2022-11-21 at 9:06 AMTotally agree, Autism isn’t a gift for my family. More like a curse if I’m being honest.
I can’t stand the ignorance of some people, the ones who think it will all be fine and that my son is just a little different. I feel like screaming at them ITS NOT OK, IT WILL NEVER BE OK, MY SON IS CONSUMED BY HIS DISABILITY but then I remind myself that people will never understand what we are going through unless they go through it themselves.
Michele
2023-07-12 at 9:55 AMI spent 35 years teaching in a school and residential program for kids like your son. It’s an ABA school and we taught all of those things, communication, self-help, safe behavior, domestic skills, leisure skills, and kids learned so much. There’s a difference between the kind of autism people have who have apartments and jobs, and can write logs and have families. if we left any of our kids alone, they wouldn’t be able to take care of themselves in anyway. But they learned how to do all of these things with help and reinforcement and us being their cheerleaders. And we kept them safe once they started to learn skills and communication, especially their worlds opened up and they’re able to experience aspects of community living, wonderful visits with their families, although not always, and lots and lots of moments of happiness that they didn’t have before. You are absolutely on the right track.