When you’re the girl who overthinks
When you’re the girl who overthinks, everything becomes more complex. You analyze every little detail — every text, every glance, every change in demeanor. Like a detective trying to see behind the curtain, you have a hard time believing there’s no hidden meaning behind what you see. A one-word answer means they’re mad at you. No answer means they want nothing to do with you anymore. Your mind skips right past the logical explanation that maybe they’re having a hard day or that they’re busy. No, it’s personal.
You spend hours typing and re-typing a two phrase answer, shaking as you hit “send,” and re-rereading your message over and over until finally they answer.
You come off as needy, and you wish people understood that your heart, trust, and feelings, have been broken before, and you’re just trying to protect yourself. You prepare yourself for the worse in a vain attempt to cushion your soul because if you’re prepared for the pain, it hurts a little less.
It’s hard for you to believe that happiness can happen to you! You believe the universe has a way of balancing everything, so even when it’s all going well, you’re scared that it’s going to get taken away.
You constantly feel drained from the intensity of your mind that never stops throwing a tornado of thoughts at you. You wish there was an off-button but there’s not. You know it makes it harder for people to love you, so you’re thankful for the people who stay, even if they know you need a little more reassurance than most.
In a world where people run away at the first sight of struggle, find the one who stays. They’re the keeper that keeps your heart safe.
5 Comments
Tabea
2020-11-28 at 1:55 AMDo you live in my brain? I have never felt so understood in my entire life…thank you so much!
Hannah
2020-12-07 at 9:51 AMWow this is an exact description…is this only an autistic thing actually?
Abbie Jenkin
2021-05-12 at 12:55 PMThis is explained me alot….it like someone took the thoughts in my mind and laid it out in front of me… I’ve never relate to a thing so much
Vanya Ashkevra
2022-04-05 at 8:15 PMDifferent folks, different experiences. It’s true for me that there’s some anxiety with one word responses, or no responses, but it’s usually kind of relief that I don’t have to engage. Usually, it’s the “neurotypical coworkers assuming the worst of either my one word responses OR the over-wordy response. I’ve been accused of being angry or not wanting to speak with them over one word responses more than I’ve thought it of them.
A paragraph as long as the above one I just wrote would be read by neurotypical coworkers as a rant even if it were completely complementary, sarcasm, etc. Protests to the contrary fall on deaf ears.
I try to go by the philosophy that people will say something if they have an issue, and if they are silent, then it’s not my responsibility to play guessing games. It wasn’t always that way though. I think when I was younger the above article would have described me better as well. But My stress neurons crapped out on me several years back (except for the occasional extreme hiccup out of nowhere), and now I just look at the bright side and try to find it a relief when people keep their engagement to a minimum.
Vanya Ashkevra
2022-04-05 at 8:19 PMOK, small nitpick, and it might be beyond the site host’s/moderator’s control….but….I had hard returns separating my paragraphs above. Seems that the response field is set up to remove those. I’m among the subset with an obsession over details like that where readable text is concerned, so that bothers me a lot (but not as much as it would if it had taken out the line breaks and made it all one text block instead).
Unfortunately, the platform itself might not support reasonable formatting for writing in a response field, because they don’t expect wordy paragraph-writers like me.