Going into my head to get out of my head
One thing I struggle with is expressing myself. As a consequence of that, often I go through phases where I just cut myself from the rest of the world. During these moments, I’m stuck in my own head, unable to express anything. It’s confusing for people around me and I don’t have immediate answers for them.
Recently, though, I’ve discovered a way to share my feelings during those times when I don’t feel like interacting with people: photography. I’ve always loved photography – this isn’t new – however I was never completely happy with my finished photos because they never quite looked like what I saw in my head. Some people would tell me how much they liked them and while I appreciated the compliment, I didn’t usually see it. The visuals didn’t match my inner life. They were missing a piece of me.
“All I see is magic”
Through my photos, I want to show people how I see the world. That said, it can be quite different from “reality”. I’ve always been a dreamer and probably always will be. I don’t know how to communicate this side of me without sounding like a child, or out of touch with realty. I’m a grownup now. I need to be grounded.
Though when I was growing up, adults around me made it clear that imagination was okay only in moderation. I stopped trying to make them see the world through my eyes, and I kept my dreams and visions to myself. Well, you don’t just make imagination go away, so I created this world in my mind… a hidden place into where I lock myself when life becomes too hard to handle.
This week I decided to try to communicate my hidden world through my images. Stars, natural lights, bubbles, laughter… these are some regular images and themes. I know this isn’t reality, but there’s so much possible beyond just that and it feels like a waste to not use your imagination to steer things past it sometimes. Making it happen is as easy as closing your eyes and believing…
Marsia2017-08-14 at 3:05 PM
Sometime I think why God made child as autism. Always love and respect these children. They are really intelligent..