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I know how it feels. I know how it feels when you can’t help your child, and sadness takes over. I know how it feels when they’re not progressing, and you…
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autism book
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This is an excerpt from my book, All Across The Spectrum. You can pre-order here. Autism: A balancing act With autism, I always feel like I’m playing a balancing act, trying…
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This is an excerpt from my book, All Across the Spectrum, that you can pre-order here. Autism and functioning labels As I kept sharing about autism on my blog, the #ActuallyAutistic doubled…
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Get Eileen Lamb ‘s book, All Across the Spectrum here Autism Awareness Things aren’t great with Charlie at the moment. His screaming has increased in frequency and intensity. I feel for Charlie…
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This is a snippet from my book, All Across the Spectrum, that you can pre-order here. “You’re torturing your child with ABA therapy” Just like society at large, the autism community…
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This is a snippet from my book, All Across The Spectrum. Coming Soon! “It’s okay to grieve” When my therapist said those words, “It’s okay to grieve,” I felt like…
![To the parents of autistic children who’ve been bullied by #ActuallyAutistic, I want you to know that you’re not alone. They may be vocal, but they do not represent the majority of autistic adults. I see you and I get you.
I believe that raising a severely autistic child is challenging. I believe parents should be allowed to feel and express sadness without being harassed and shamed.
I know that these parents love their children with all their hearts despite the sadness they feel about the diagnosis. I believe grieving is healthy. Parents don’t grieve because they hate their children, they’re grieving the future they’d imagined for their child (and yes, also for themselves).
They grieve the things most parents take for granted—the painfully normal things their child will likely never experience or accomplish. New goals have to be set for their child, often much more elementary and limited. They worry about this future and they’re haunted by the uncertainty of it. Will their child ever speak? Get dressed alone? Use the bathroom without help?
There’s not one single autistic voice that speaks for all of autism. The spectrum is too broad, and autistic people are just that—people, with the same range of differences as any other group. It’s impossible for any person or group to “represent autism”. Yes, they are actually autistic, but they do not represent autism, most autistic adults, children with autism, nor nonverbal autistics either.
I want the parents who’ve been bullied by this community to know all this. There are many autistic adults, myself included, who would never make a parent feel bad for feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed with their child’s diagnosis. So yes, listen to autistic adults, but don’t you ever forget that most of us don’t think you’re a martyr because you’re not a martyr. I know that on those hardest days, the degree to which you’re heartbroken about your child’s condition is equal to the deep love and compassion you feel for them. I get it. Many of us do, and we will never judge you. Your feelings don’t make you a martyr, they make you human—a beautiful, loving, vulnerable human. ❤️
[Full post in bio and stories]](http://scontent-frx5-1.cdninstagram.com/vp/f5666072a67a6141a71e62bcb26c0b5f/5E68A794/t51.2885-15/e35/c33.0.1374.1374a/s320x320/71540985_577422026337166_4936785374516141811_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-frx5-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=110 "To the parents of autistic children who’ve been bullied by #ActuallyAutistic, I want you to know that you’re not alone. They may be vocal, but they do not represent the majority of autistic adults. I see you and I get you.
I believe that raising a severely autistic child is challenging. I believe parents should be allowed to feel and express sadness without being harassed and shamed.
I know that these parents love their children with all their hearts despite the sadness they feel about the diagnosis. I believe grieving is healthy. Parents don’t grieve because they hate their children, they’re grieving the future they’d imagined for their child (and yes, also for themselves).
They grieve the things most parents take for granted—the painfully normal things their child will likely never experience or accomplish. New goals have to be set for their child, often much more elementary and limited. They worry about this future and they’re haunted by the uncertainty of it. Will their child ever speak? Get dressed alone? Use the bathroom without help?
There’s not one single autistic voice that speaks for all of autism. The spectrum is too broad, and autistic people are just that—people, with the same range of differences as any other group. It’s impossible for any person or group to “represent autism”. Yes, they are actually autistic, but they do not represent autism, most autistic adults, children with autism, nor nonverbal autistics either.
I want the parents who’ve been bullied by this community to know all this. There are many autistic adults, myself included, who would never make a parent feel bad for feeling sad, angry, or overwhelmed with their child’s diagnosis. So yes, listen to autistic adults, but don’t you ever forget that most of us don’t think you’re a martyr because you’re not a martyr. I know that on those hardest days, the degree to which you’re heartbroken about your child’s condition is equal to the deep love and compassion you feel for them. I get it. Many of us do, and we will never judge you. Your feelings don’t make you a martyr, they make you human—a beautiful, loving, vulnerable human. ❤️
[Full post in bio and stories]")
