Brothers and autism: Unconditional love

I often get asked how Charlie reacted to us bringing newborn Jude home. The truth is, it was pretty devastating for everyone. Charlie couldn’t stand being in the same room as Jude. He’d start screaming every time Jude made a sound and even slapped him in the face a few times.

I was looking forward to that perfectly imperfect sibling relationship I’d seen friends sharing on social media — you know, squabbling over a toy, competing for mommy’s attention, having pillow fights, and sneaking around together making bad choices.

For a while, it was hard to see my two sons so disconnected, worrying about them being in the same room.

I’m telling you this not to scare you but to give you hope. Things got better!

Throughout the years, Charlie went from tolerating Jude, to being in the same room as him without flinching, to now actually trying to interact with Jude in his Charlie-kinda-way.

Is it what I had imagined their relationship would be like? No, it’s not, but things in life rarely happen the way you expect.

I’ve learned to readjust these expectations — to appreciate what’s right in front of me, rather than fixating on how I wish things were. It’s not always easy, but I’m getting there.

Their relationship is unique, and their moments of interaction are so rare and new that in the moments I get to witness them, they feel so special and fill me with gratitude. ♥️