Individual quality time with children is healthy
I’ve noticed a trend over the years: whenever I post photos of me enjoying time with one of my kids, there are always comments asking, “Where is Charlie?” or “Where is Jude?”
Just yesterday, I shared about my road trip with Jude to a the Waco Indie Film Festival, and predictably, someone commented, “Charlie should have gone with you.”
The event was geared towards adults, requiring attendees to be still and quiet. The room was echoey and crowded, which wouldn’t have been enjoyable for Charlie. It also wouldn’t have been fair to the hundreds of filmmakers who traveled from across the country to attend. Charlie expresses himself very loudly, whether he’s happy or sad. While I believe it’s important for people to adapt to him in certain circumstances, this event wasn’t one of them. And that’s okay.
Charlie loves swimming, splash pads, and picking out food at Starbucks/grocery stores, and we’ve done plenty of that this summer. Some outings were great, and others were downright challenging.
I push us outside our comfort zones when it makes sense, but yesterday wasn’t one of those times.
We need to normalize spending quality time with our children individually. Jude and Charlie often have polar opposite needs, and as their mom, it’s important for me to split my time between them in ways they each enjoy.
Finally, for siblings of children who have severe disabilities, it’s even more important to get that alone time with mom and dad. It’s easy for them to feel left out because of how much attention and care goes into caring for their brother/sister with high needs.
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