Since I became a mom, I’ve become more involved on social media, especially Facebook mom groups. It’s not always easy to meet people in real life so Facebook seemed like a great solution to share and engage with other moms. I’m currently in and historically have been in of a bunch of private Facebook groups. Some are directed towards buying/selling baby clothes while others are just mom groups for talking about whatever. Soccer, special-needs, babywearing, you name it… there’s a group for everything.
A downside, though, is that social media can be a self-confidence killer. We’ve all been there. You post something thinking it’s brilliant only to have no one respond. It doesn’t matter how secure in yourself you are, it gets you wondering why no one has reacted or commented on your post. If you’re an over-thinker and not confident in yourself, this can affect you a lot. I don’t know why but there’s something about social media that makes us care. Maybe because Susie’s last food picture got 300 likes and your thoughtful and inspiring post only got one (and it was from your mom).
The groups I’m in are all different but they have one thing in common: you’ll find the same types of moms in all of them. Don’t roll your eyes yet because you probably know one of these moms! In fact, you’re most likely one of them. 😉
The 10 different moms you’ll find in Facebook mom groups:
1 – The Oversharer:
She usually starts her posts with a “TMI Warning”. From the color of her baby’s last poop to how long her husband lasts in bed, she’ll tell you everything. You know everything about her last dinner with her mother-in-law and the last little argument she had with her hubby. Oh, and have you seen how weird her toe looks since she stubbed it in the kitchen while making tacos? Yes you have. We all have.
2 – The Lurker:
She never comments or likes any post but she’s there. She sees you and she knows everything about you. She doesn’t contribute anything but if she left, she’d miss out on the entertainment so she stays.
3 – The Opinionated Mom:
She’s got an opinion on everything and she’ll tell you. From how unprofessional the cashier was yesterday at Target to how ridiculous that new law voted through by Congress is. “I changed my opinion on politics after reading Penelope’s post,” said no one ever. She doesn’t care though. She has on opinion on it and she’ll share it on Facebook whether you like it or not!
4 – The Perfect Mom:
She looks like she’s heading to an award ceremony everyday. Her hair is gorgeous, her makeup is flawless, her teeth are so white that Antarctica is envious. Her kids are well-behaved and get straight-As in school, and on the weekend, they all play golf and volunteer together. (Or do they…)
5 – The Popular Mom
She’s a social butterfly and is good friends with everyone. As soon as she posts, she gets dozens of reactions and comments. She’s the girl you wanted to be like in high school. She gets away with things other people wouldn’t get away with, because she’s naturally popular and makes you feel a little bit more important when she’s focused on you.
6 – The Shy Mom
Then there’s the shy mom, passively liking people’s posts hoping to be noticed. She wants to be included but compared to the previous mom-types she doesn’t feel like she can stand out. She doesn’t want to comment on people’s posts too often because she knows she could offend someone and start a war by just using the wrong word. Moms are sensitive and she knows it.
7 – The Attention Seeker
She’s the kind of mom you won’t hear from unless something negative in happening to her or someone else in the group. She might check in at the hospital a few times a week. Her life is constantly “so stressful” and she wants you to know it and join her pity party. She gets annoyed at every little thing and warns you that you will too.
8 – The Selfie Mom
She take selfies a few times a day and posts them. Usually they’re taken at an oddly advantageous angle and with an added filter. She loves Snapchat, and she’ll share that same snapchat picture on all her social media. She cannot resist posting pictures of her kids with bunny ears.
9 – The Crunchy Mom
She’s breastfeeds and babywears her 5-year-old, and ferments on her own kombucha all while judging you for feeding your kids pre-packaged snacks. She only shops at the local healthfood store and is either vegan or gluten-free. She uses coconut oil for everything. She gave birth at home without an epidural, and had her placenta encapsulated. Then she ate it. Last but not least, she thinks your child is autistic because you vaccinated him. Ouch, crunchy mama! Slow down.
10 – Hot Mess Mom
She’s up for a play-date, as long as it involves a glass of wine (or maybe a little tequila?). She doesn’t wear makeup and she looks way behind on sleep. Her house is a mess. Her leggings have holes, she wears her hair in a bun. She’s always late but she doesn’t care. If her kids are happy, that’s all she cares about.
Brittney2017-09-14 at 5:52 PM
Eileen this is absolutely hilarious, I am a lot of those depending on the group I’m in haha… I’m definitely down for 10, I’ll go anywhere with wine
Maria2017-09-15 at 5:38 AM
Great post, personally I don’t do Facebook, tempted, but… however, where I live whatsapp groups are kind of a big deal and people values you for the groups you’re invited to join… is high school on steroids this social media thing lol. I’ll say I’m kind of a mix between the lurker (oops), the shy and the hot mess with predominance of the later, except I don’t do play dates because if I go then I’ll have to host and, ejem, my house is a radioactive hot mess. Also I’m totally dry (don’t do alcohol never) so I’m starting to think I’m to boring to be a mom (oops again and lol again) but I’d kill bare-hand for my babies’ happiness
Connor2022-06-28 at 10:46 PM
You forgot the Facebook moms who post memes about feeding their child some drugs like NyQuil or Chloroform to shut them up