#ActuallyAutistic Bullying
I want to end #ActuallyAutistic bullying. Continually for over five years, one particular group of self-identified autism advocates has been harassing countless people online. If you’ve posted on an autism forum, you probably know them too — they’re the ones often with “Au”-branded usernames (the periodic symbol for gold) and comments tagged with the “#ActuallyAutistic” hashtag, their chosen name.
Over this period, I’ve received thousands of insults, threats, false and defamatory accusations, and sexually harassing messages. Their hate escalated beyond harassing comments, too, by sending unhinged accusations to my management and the Federal Trade Commission in an attempt to destroy my livelihood.
People are soon going to be too afraid to even talk about autism
As I said, I’m far from the only one in this situation. There are countless autism parents and autistic adults who‘ve been bullied into silence by this loud, angry minority. I can’t tell you how many times a post of mine has been absolutely swarmed by #ActuallyAutistic, and the many people who come in support of me arrive in my DMs, with an apology for not doing it publicly because they are too scared, and rightfully so, of being the next target.
This is real. These are not isolated incidents. These aren’t a couple of bad actors within an otherwise positive organization. It’s pervasive, and it is profoundly destructive and toxic.
Let’s put an end to the bullying. Email me your experience!
If you‘ve been the victim of this type of bullying or harassment or have ever kept quiet for fear of similar bullying or retaliation, please email me at eileen@endautisticbullying.com to share your experience. We have a team working hard to try and change things, to restore positive online discourse about autism — to reclaim our voices — by ridding our community of this abhorrent behavior. I’ll keep responses anonymous unless you want to be public
I’ll leave you with a few screenshots I’ve remembered to save. And remember, you are not alone. Whether you’re a parent, autistic yourself, or both, you’re allowed any opinion you want on the many contentious topics surrounding autism today. Your voice deserves to be heard — if you’re respectful.
Let’s end #ActuallyAutistic bullying.
Terra Vance, spread a rumor that I’m the reason a mother killed her autistic child. To this day, I still don’t even know what crime she’s referring to. It was in July 2020. PS: I’m not alt-right. I voted Biden.
Lovely DMs
Here’s my blog post about grieving.
23 Comments
Jae
2021-04-11 at 1:15 AMI am Brazilian and I use to censorship words related to autism for this reason, I will be bullied just because I don’t agree with neurodiversity.
That’s so hypocritical bullying someone autistic especially a person like me who is suicidal.
Tina
2021-04-11 at 2:43 AMABA is abuse though. Maybe do some research on it
Javier Anda
2021-04-11 at 8:40 AMvdamn i waonder why people who are actually autistic are “bullying” nuerotypical poeple for speaking over them and pretending like they know whats best for us bettter than we do
Amber
2021-04-11 at 11:01 PMEileen AKA theautismcafe instigates a lot of hateful comments she receives from the autistic community. She purposely post things that she knows will upset people or comments something on an autistic persons page that she knows will trigger them….Then takes screenshots of the traumatised reactions and uses it to paint herself as a victim. Meanwhile she blocks autistic people on social media to make it seem like everyone has her views and that she’s right, basically silencing autistic people from having a say. She does this for her own personal agenda. She’s bullied a lot of autistic people and upset most of the community… which is how she’s alienated herself from the autistic community. The things she posts in Facebook groups with screenshots after instigating something is disgusting… then these autistic people end up getting loads of abuse and being pulled apart left right and center. Things she says in this groups is horrible. Eileen is narcissistic sociopath on a level I haven’t even seen before. I’m starting to worry about Eileen if I’m honest. Does she believe what she’s saying is true? Or is she just a person who likes playing the victim?
Eileen
2021-04-11 at 11:53 PMHi Amber, can you show me one instance of me bullying someone?
Thanks!
Dr. Hans Asperger
2022-04-13 at 9:57 PMHow do you KNOW she does this? Are you in her brain? Where’s the proof that she knowingly says things to autistics for the purpose of winding them up or triggering them. #PuzzlePiecePride
Mr. Autistic
2023-01-16 at 5:35 PMAmber, if that is your real name, you are so full of shit. Grow up. You are literally proving her point and proving this entire article to be true. You are a prime example of what is being discussed in this article.
Anonymous
2021-04-22 at 11:22 PMAnyone who claims that Eileen instigates arguments for these screenshots has obviously not been paying attention. Look up anyone related to “Autistic Dark Web” (anyone ever stop to think where that nickname even started?), or even Fierce Autie’s “Block List” has been sharing similar stories if not screenshots of their own. Feel free to Google.
Scott Grey
2021-07-27 at 8:14 PMHiding behind the internet and attacking people with such horrible words is despicable. When the threats and such are so blatantly aggressive, if the person has an identified employer, I”m sure the employer would be less than thrilled to learn their employee is using the computer for such horrible messaging. I have serious misgivings as to whether these individuals are even autistic to begin with as they certainly don’t represent the autistics I know.
Shane Stoneley
2022-03-26 at 10:52 PMWhilst I respectfully disagree with (very few) things that Eileen has posted, she has the right to her own opinion, both as an autistic person and the main caregiver of 2 autistic kids. There is absolutely no excuse for bullying, threats of violence or abuse. Most of the stuff she says is on the mark, this is coming from another Autistic person! I’ve been bullied by members of the actuallyautistic community too, just because I have different views.
Megan
2022-08-16 at 1:51 AMThis is very well put! Just because many do not agree, it doesn’t mean they are right in their harassing and constant vitriol.
Sally
2022-06-24 at 2:53 PMThe “autistic “ people who are going after other autistics and their families are school yard bullies. Worst, they have endangered autistic people, even trying to make autistic people commit suicide. They threaten, manipulate, and harass—doing whatever they can in their twisted collaboration to bring people down.
Anonymous
2023-05-10 at 5:38 PMThese people that do these terrible things to victims need to be filed a restraining order and be on probation.
Kate
2022-06-26 at 12:06 AMToo many of us have been harassed by these bullies. Their cruelty seems to come naturally. Really, something has to be done. Their harassment will lead some poor bugger to suicide. I’ve been threatened by this group as well—with no explanation, just that they dislike me. They’re just cowards—go after anyone they see as weak.
Jordan Moore
2022-08-15 at 10:00 PMMom of an 8 year old with severe autism. He is still in diapers and nonverbal. I cannot even fathom the things people in this community are saying. Do they understand that we would give anything for our children to ever even have the ability to use a keyboard independently? UGH. Not the same! We can all respectfully disagree, but the muddy spectrum of Autism is starting to make me nuts. My child would NOT want this for himself. My child that will forever be dependent on me to be his voice, his diaper changer, his bath giver, his food fixer, his caregiver, his chaser (he is an eloper)… I am his everything. I am allowed to have opinions, share my emotions, and speak our TRUTHS without being bullied.
This group should legally be held liable for harassment.
Mr. Autistic
2023-01-16 at 5:31 PMI made a twitter page specifically for dealing with Actually Autistic bullies, and putting them in their place. Warning: lots of adult language and negative interactions. Twitter page is called Mr. Autistic. I am with you, and trying to do my part to stand up to the AA bullies. Thank you SO MUCH for writing this article. This is an issue that does not get enough attention or exposure.
Spaceclimber
2023-02-14 at 6:43 PMI have seen so much of this and finally started to talk about it. In the beginning when I found autistic advocates I was so thrilled to finally have people around me I could relate to. The group was everything to me and I would have done just about anything for them…until I saw what they were doing to autistic poeple ourselves. It is a destructive impulse and is hurting autistic poeple just because they say “I have autism.”
Anonymous
2023-05-23 at 1:07 AMI hope that after a lot of users on deviantART, YouTube, twitter, tumblr, Instagram, Reddit, and Facebook see these disgusting posts coming from the #ActuallyAutistic community, they should feel ashamed on the way they treated not only Autism Speaks, but to a lot of people who support and donate to them.
Anonymous
2023-05-23 at 1:15 AMI think it’s time we do protests, memes, art, and videos on us exposing the disgusting fibs of the #ActuallyAutistic community. Let’s teach THEM a lesson.
Think of The Dog Bites Back.
Anonymous
2023-05-23 at 1:19 AMThe #ActuallyAutistic people definitely have the spitting image of Chris-Chan (aka. Christian Weston Chandler).
Anonymous
2023-05-24 at 3:01 PMI just cannot wait until the day the true colors of the #ActuallyAutistic community go on the headlines, a lot of people on deviantART, twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, TikTok, and tumblr will finally start to snap out of this outdated phase for once and will realize it is never okay to manipulate others into despising a organization just because they have a blue puzzle as their symbol. The misinformations, fear-propaganda, and propaganda-level memes will 100% age very poorly. Nature will definitely be healing by then.
Anonymous
2023-05-31 at 4:50 PMThe Virgin #ActuallyAutistic:
– shove autism speaks misinformation, propaganda, and clickbait down people’s throats
– disrespect autistic parents
– basically the anti-Barney cult of the 2010’s/2020’s
– possibly trump supporters
– will make people too afraid to talk about autism
– the real enemies
– destructive and toxic
– endangers lot of people on the autism spectrum
– extremely bad at handling criticism
Vs.
The Chad Autism Speaks:
– respects Autistic people
– aware of their past mistakes
– has redeemed itself
– deserves better
– don’t support eugenics
– does a lot for the autism community
– doesn’t endanger autistic people as most people “claim”
– has a mine of autism resources
– take criticism
– includes everyone on the spectrum
a hopeless autistic
2023-06-11 at 3:06 AMHi,
I found your site after searching the web for hashtag-actuallyautistic after being gaslit recently on one of the social platforms. Up until recently, I sometimes would “troll” the #ActuallyAutistic folks just to get them to think differently, only for _them_ be the “troll” by attacking, destroying, gaslight, and call me an “ableist” (or worse an “allistic” which is amusing a/f because I’ve lived with this condition (for better or for worse) since I was born! They would repeatedly ask me what I have done for autistic people, and I would say things on the down-low, and because it wasn’t public enough for them they would act like vultures eating a dead carcus. I’ve been on social media since the days of MySpace, and given my autistic condition, I can filter out BS and see whose playing with me.
I’ll tell you what I have tried to do for all types of autistics (of course for them it’s never enough or I am doing it wrong or some lame reason). I am one of a few higher functioning autistics (with now an antiquated disorder after DSMV), that had involvement in my state’s health and human services agency. I actually had connections with a Commissioner of the agency of which I had great rapport but had left the role (as there was a term limit.) I was on planning committee for an annual family support conference (that unfortunately was really for family members with a disability, of which I think it’s not the best approach to single groups out as everyone needs a resource.)
I say all of that because i had be so mindful over the last decade or so because others may assume I was a #ActuallyAutistic stereotype but in reality, I was trying to advocate for people not as fortunate as me to be heard and _not just be_ seen. This put a huge strain on my life, it actually unraveled during the 2016 Autism Awareness Month (oh sorry is supposed to be Autism Acceptance month, lol?) I was only able to advocate for myself, and I was gaslit, minimized, stonewalled, etc. in my little day program.
I didn’t know the extent of #ActuallyAutistic and I started searching overnight/this morning if #AA is really just toxic activism, and poor comms (in the public relations/policy stance) and it seems to be the case. And that’s why I am so afraid to be an advocate, because I’ll be seen as an activist.
This group of people I think; know who they are targeting, they know in some little way they may not always be right, and how they can think they can be on social media despite having apparent low emotional intelligence to completely freak out on a stranger, but if they were to say something defamatory (in my situation) there is no accountability. Not even a shred of remorse, that even an moderate functioning autistic would be able to do. These people seem to be social misfits of the social justice types, and so they have their own world that often is ripping the page from the toxic activism that hurts IDD.
Lastly, about me in a nutshell, I was in SPED since I was 3 to my 21st birthday on a Wednesday in March 15 years ago. So I am in my mid 30s, with all the “funding” from adult services, I have really little resources for programs or even staffing. I have had an 5 yr support intensive scale eval, and it scores very high. So a perceived high functioning person needs as much hands as someone in a wheelchair in some situations. I’ve let the highest people know about this and they have really done nothing, and of course, I had to be so careful not to be an activist. Once you cross that line, you’re canceled out from other’s attention.
It wasn’t until I found your site, that the Autism diagnosis is actually separated in “levels”. (this tells you how much I’ve given up the cause despite the condition.) I had published a WordPress blog 12 years ago on my life with ASD, doubting my own condition, with lots of hits and views. When i migrated to my own host a year ago and slowly published older content (had to sanitize the 25 year old self’s wild writings), it’s barely broken the web. I guess the Web was much different vs. now I don’t even know what the heck “autism” means from a clinical standpoint in 2023. I wonder if others are feeling the same, even to search engines!
I hope I wasn’t too wordy, I try to not be that d-mned keyboard warrior, even though I am a notorious writer (the only gift going forward for me.)