End #ActuallyAutistic Bullying

#ActuallyAutistic Bullying

I want to end #ActuallyAutistic bullying. Continually for over five years, one particular group of self-identified autism advocates has been harassing countless people online. If you’ve posted on an autism forum, you probably know them too — they’re the ones often with “Au”-branded usernames (the periodic symbol for gold) and comments tagged with the “#ActuallyAutistic” hashtag, their chosen name.

Over this period, I’ve received thousands of insults, threats, false and defamatory accusations, and sexually harassing messages. Their hate escalated beyond harassing comments, too, by sending unhinged accusations to my management and the Federal Trade Commission in an attempt to destroy my livelihood. 

People are soon going to be too afraid to even talk about autism

As I said, I’m far from the only one in this situation. There are countless autism parents and autistic adults who‘ve been bullied into silence by this loud, angry minority. I can’t tell you how many times a post of mine has been absolutely swarmed by #ActuallyAutistic, and the many people who come in support of me arrive in my DMs, with an apology for not doing it publicly because they are too scared, and rightfully so, of being the next target. 

This is real. These are not isolated incidents. These aren’t a couple of bad actors within an otherwise positive organization. It’s pervasive, and it is profoundly destructive and toxic.  

Let’s put an end to the bullying. Email me your experience!

If you‘ve been the victim of this type of bullying or harassment or have ever kept quiet for fear of similar bullying or retaliation, please email me at to share your experience. We have a team working hard to try and change things, to restore positive online discourse about autism — to reclaim our voices — by ridding our community of this abhorrent behavior. I’ll keep responses anonymous unless you want to be public

I’ll leave you with a few screenshots I’ve remembered to save. And remember, you are not alone. Whether you’re a parent, autistic yourself, or both, you’re allowed any opinion you want on the many contentious topics surrounding autism today. Your voice deserves to be heard — if you’re respectful.

Let’s end #ActuallyAutistic bullying.

bullying #actuallyautistic
Threatening to report me to CPS

Terra Vance, spread a rumor that I’m the reason a mother killed her autistic child. To this day, I still don’t even know what crime she’s referring to. It was in July 2020. PS: I’m not alt-right. I voted Biden.

Sexual Harrassment

Lovely DMs

This comment made to one of my followers, who was defending me.

Here’s my blog post about grieving.

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  • Reply
    2021-04-11 at 1:15 AM

    I am Brazilian and I use to censorship words related to autism for this reason, I will be bullied just because I don’t agree with neurodiversity.
    That’s so hypocritical bullying someone autistic especially a person like me who is suicidal.

  • Reply
    2021-04-11 at 2:43 AM

    ABA is abuse though. Maybe do some research on it

  • Reply
    Javier Anda
    2021-04-11 at 8:40 AM

    vdamn i waonder why people who are actually autistic are “bullying” nuerotypical poeple for speaking over them and pretending like they know whats best for us bettter than we do

  • Reply
    2021-04-11 at 11:01 PM

    Eileen AKA theautismcafe instigates a lot of hateful comments she receives from the autistic community. She purposely post things that she knows will upset people or comments something on an autistic persons page that she knows will trigger them….Then takes screenshots of the traumatised reactions and uses it to paint herself as a victim. Meanwhile she blocks autistic people on social media to make it seem like everyone has her views and that she’s right, basically silencing autistic people from having a say. She does this for her own personal agenda. She’s bullied a lot of autistic people and upset most of the community… which is how she’s alienated herself from the autistic community. The things she posts in Facebook groups with screenshots after instigating something is disgusting… then these autistic people end up getting loads of abuse and being pulled apart left right and center. Things she says in this groups is horrible. Eileen is narcissistic sociopath on a level I haven’t even seen before. I’m starting to worry about Eileen if I’m honest. Does she believe what she’s saying is true? Or is she just a person who likes playing the victim?

    • Reply
      2021-04-11 at 11:53 PM

      Hi Amber, can you show me one instance of me bullying someone?


    • Reply
      Dr. Hans Asperger
      2022-04-13 at 9:57 PM

      How do you KNOW she does this? Are you in her brain? Where’s the proof that she knowingly says things to autistics for the purpose of winding them up or triggering them. #PuzzlePiecePride

    • Reply
      Mr. Autistic
      2023-01-16 at 5:35 PM

      Amber, if that is your real name, you are so full of shit. Grow up. You are literally proving her point and proving this entire article to be true. You are a prime example of what is being discussed in this article.

  • Reply
    2021-04-22 at 11:22 PM

    Anyone who claims that Eileen instigates arguments for these screenshots has obviously not been paying attention. Look up anyone related to “Autistic Dark Web” (anyone ever stop to think where that nickname even started?), or even Fierce Autie’s “Block List” has been sharing similar stories if not screenshots of their own. Feel free to Google.

  • Reply
    Scott Grey
    2021-07-27 at 8:14 PM

    Hiding behind the internet and attacking people with such horrible words is despicable. When the threats and such are so blatantly aggressive, if the person has an identified employer, I”m sure the employer would be less than thrilled to learn their employee is using the computer for such horrible messaging. I have serious misgivings as to whether these individuals are even autistic to begin with as they certainly don’t represent the autistics I know.

  • Reply
    Shane Stoneley
    2022-03-26 at 10:52 PM

    Whilst I respectfully disagree with (very few) things that Eileen has posted, she has the right to her own opinion, both as an autistic person and the main caregiver of 2 autistic kids. There is absolutely no excuse for bullying, threats of violence or abuse. Most of the stuff she says is on the mark, this is coming from another Autistic person! I’ve been bullied by members of the actuallyautistic community too, just because I have different views.

    • Reply
      2022-08-16 at 1:51 AM

      This is very well put! Just because many do not agree, it doesn’t mean they are right in their harassing and constant vitriol.

  • Reply
    2022-06-24 at 2:53 PM

    The “autistic “ people who are going after other autistics and their families are school yard bullies. Worst, they have endangered autistic people, even trying to make autistic people commit suicide. They threaten, manipulate, and harass—doing whatever they can in their twisted collaboration to bring people down.

  • Reply
    2022-06-26 at 12:06 AM

    Too many of us have been harassed by these bullies. Their cruelty seems to come naturally. Really, something has to be done. Their harassment will lead some poor bugger to suicide. I’ve been threatened by this group as well—with no explanation, just that they dislike me. They’re just cowards—go after anyone they see as weak.

  • Reply
    Jordan Moore
    2022-08-15 at 10:00 PM

    Mom of an 8 year old with severe autism. He is still in diapers and nonverbal. I cannot even fathom the things people in this community are saying. Do they understand that we would give anything for our children to ever even have the ability to use a keyboard independently? UGH. Not the same! We can all respectfully disagree, but the muddy spectrum of Autism is starting to make me nuts. My child would NOT want this for himself. My child that will forever be dependent on me to be his voice, his diaper changer, his bath giver, his food fixer, his caregiver, his chaser (he is an eloper)… I am his everything. I am allowed to have opinions, share my emotions, and speak our TRUTHS without being bullied.

    This group should legally be held liable for harassment.

  • Reply
    Mr. Autistic
    2023-01-16 at 5:31 PM

    I made a twitter page specifically for dealing with Actually Autistic bullies, and putting them in their place. Warning: lots of adult language and negative interactions. Twitter page is called Mr. Autistic. I am with you, and trying to do my part to stand up to the AA bullies. Thank you SO MUCH for writing this article. This is an issue that does not get enough attention or exposure.

  • Reply
    2023-02-14 at 6:43 PM

    I have seen so much of this and finally started to talk about it. In the beginning when I found autistic advocates I was so thrilled to finally have people around me I could relate to. The group was everything to me and I would have done just about anything for them…until I saw what they were doing to autistic poeple ourselves. It is a destructive impulse and is hurting autistic poeple just because they say “I have autism.”

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